Shattered

As she sat there staring at the unhealed scars on her arm, and the razor in her hand, she began to wonder what she used to be like. Who she was before the cutting, before the drugs, before the sex, before him, but she couldn’t remember. When the blade touched her skin, she felt a sense of relief, and as the blood spilled out, she could have cared less about the girl she used to be. Throwing the blade across the room, she began to feel dizzy, this was something new to her, but she figured she’d be okay as she leaned back against the wall. All around here were bloody razors, bloody towels, and a blood stained picture of him. She picked up the picture and felt that same tingle as she held back the tears. She wasn’t going to cry over him, not this time, he had done this to her, he was the reason she did this to herself. She knew that he cared, and she knew he hated seeing her like this, but she didn’t care anymore, why should she? He was happy wasn’t he? She was alone, she didn’t have anyone, her heart was shattered into a million pieces, she was completely destroyed, and all because of him. When she got up to call her mom, there was a soft knock on the door. Wrist still bleeding, blood running down her hand, she went to answer the door. When she quietly swung the door open, he was standing there, pale and alone.

Girl: hi?! Boy: hi. Girl: what are you doing here? Boy: I wanted to see you. Girl: why? He looks down at her still bleeding wrist. Boy: what have you done to yourself?! Girl: you made me do this, you destroyed me! Boy: I’m sorry. Girl: where is she anyway? Boy: we broke up. Girl: oh, that’s why you’re here. Boy: no...well sort of, I wanted to see if you were okay. Girl: well I’m not! Boy: I know, and I’m sorry. They both stand there staring at each other, nether know what to do. Boy: I never meant for this to happen. Girl: oh?! Then why did it?! Why was I the one left alone and destroyed?! Boy: I’m so sorry. She began to cry and collapsed on the couch. Girl: I promised myself I wouldn’t cry over you again, but now I’m, crying. She tried to calm down, and realised that he wrist was still bleeding. Boy: let me help you, your bleeding Girl: no, I’m fine, I think I can take care of myself! After a long silence, she went into the bathroom to clean up a little. When she came back out he was sitting on the floor.

Boy: are you okay? Girl: no, but I’m not bleeding anymore. Boy: I still love you. She stared at him with a wild, yet hurt look in her eyes. Girl: if you still love me, then why did you leave me?! Why would you destroy me?! You knew what I would do! Boy: I thought you didn’t love me. I didn’t think you wanted me anymore. Girl: so instead of talking to me, you decided to leave me?! I have been scared everyday, that it might be my last day, but I couldn’t stop, I had to keep hurting myself. Boy: you didn’t have to keep hurting yourself, you could have stopped. Girl: everyday I thought about you, every second I thought about you . Boy: I know, and I’m sorry. Girl: ugh! You don’t get it do you?! I love you! I’ve never stopped loving you, for 3 years you’re all I’ve thought about, I don’t sleep, I cut myself, do drugs, and sleep with random strangers, all because of you! You destroyed me. My heart is shattered into a million pieces because of you! Boy: I’m so sorry.

Crying uncontrollably, she collapsed into his arms. After a few minutes her breathing slowed, and then stopped all together. She died in his arms. She died with the one who destroyed her, and the one she loved holding her. Her mother came by later that day to find them both dead on the living room floor. She died due to loss of blood, and he died of overdoes. He killed himself an hour after she died. He had gone there to tell her he wanted her back. You never know what you have until its gone.